Comments on: I Am an Aid Worker. And a Woman. Help!

By: amazedlife

amazedlife — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 08:01:00 +0000

I somehow missed this post when it first came out… oh. I was in Sudan (typical, huh?). Right. Anyway, I agree that the aidworker thing is harder for women than for men – somehow it is more acceptable even for married men to go off for months at a time, leaving behind their families, when it would not be appropriate for a woman. That is, if the woman even managed to get married, given the women in humanitarian work tend (generalization) to be single and the men married. Many men seem not to undertake such work until they are more established (or have an easier time finding women who will put up with it than women do finding men who will).

I faced all of these thoughts while I was in Sudan, and ended up pulling out of the running for a truly prime UN job for which I was in the final cut – because I wanted more stability and more possibility of having a family. I’ll be back in Africa, but I think it will have to be back in the development world, where I started, rather than the humanitarian world I fell into. “Unaccompanied duty station” is not a phrase I want to hear again any time soon.

Have been enjoying your blog for quite a while, by the way!

By: Marie France Bourgeois

Marie France Bourgeois — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 00:01:00 +0000

Dear Peter,

You just hit the spot my old friend!!!

Having retired yesterday officially from a UN-Humanitarian organisation which could not offer me and my new adoptive daughter a post in a country better than Phase III (for the ones who don`t know about the jargon, this means a "non family duty station"), I am now in this new clan; early retirement from an aid worker.

I am a woman who has dedicated 17 years of her life, with the greatest joy, to the humanitarian world and went out of it as I could not juggle my new daughter and this adrenaline filled-life.

Am I sad? Yes, of course, now the good jobs were coming, the higher levels, the respect etc. But, it was time to make a break. This is not to say I will not go back one day, in a different capacity.

Frankly, after years in god forsaken countries (I did love it to be frank), its nice to be quiet at home and just live a "normal life"... See my daughter learn life and enjoy being alive. I highly recommend it!!! For the ones who may need a little break.

Ciao,
One of your dudettes from the start, in Ngaga...

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 09:26:00 +0000

Bless you once more sweet, sweet Peter for attempting to capture what many wouldn’t have even felt was worthy of a mention. Bless you for trying to capture what the women in this industry are attempting to achieve – a balance for a line of work that they intrinsically feel connected to. And yet, the view of the professional woman (even in this type of humane context) remains rigid and cold. The balance between being taken seriously and not to be viewed as ‘emotional’ in any shape, way or form – remains an issue. Hence, there are many of the female pioneers within this industry that have felt it necessary to act as ‘men.’ Tough and rugged, potentially. Whereas this new generation is unwilling to compromise on their feminity in the process of professional growth. I believe I mentioned that to you during our conversation how I find it all the more enriching to provide a female perspective within this line of work and I am positive that I’m not the only one. These are humanitarian efforts and we, as women, could more easily and quietly tap into the deep reserve of spirituality, calm, persistence, resilience and creativity that it definitely calls for.

Bless you once more for attempting to reach out to these women that struggle without much ‘direction’ provided since not many senior managers feel up to the task of mentoring the young professional women. It may be the ‘uncompromising’ social settings and it just may not have crossed many’s minds. Hence, the additional challenge of self-guidance in the professional sphere is one I find admirable in us. Whereby, most lessons learnt are self taught, which is truly impressive. Young, dynamic and highly intelligent women that additionally tap into their consciousness to attempt to guide themselves and grow through the maze of professional life.

And truly bless you for highlighting the personal sacrifices that we ‘face’ in this context; whereby many men could claim that it’s only natural that they pursue what they love in their professional careers, yet the women would be perceived as disconnected if they want to pursue their chosen professional path. From my perspective, I have finally found that this is my true calling and am not only hesitent but absolutely fearful of never meeting a true man; that is a man that could appreciate my ‘dilemna’ and support me in finding a way through the issues through heartfelt compromises and a bundle of love. You, Peter, are one of very few men with this type of openness in spirit.

Anyways, what I hope for – and this may be wishful thinking – is that the next set of professional women will indeed have ‘us’ as their mentors and will at least not have to struggle so much for something this basic. A true equilibirity at the workplace.

I am extremely proud to find even the few ‘older’ women that have successfully ‘reached’ this balance – it does give me a glimmer of hope.