Scribbles

From our reporter in Gaza:

As we monitored the two webcams at the Gaza/Israel Keram Shalom border crossing today (this post), it soon became apparent that the camera pointing towards Gaza had a chronic problem with a fly walking over the lens. The camera pointing towards Israel’s side of the border was fly-free.

The Palestinian authorities immediately launched an official objection at the UN Security Council, calling for a resolution to have the Gaza camera fly-free too.

This prompted the UN Secretary-General to deploy an online UN monitoring force, the UN International Fly Observers (UNIFO), who reported the following:

[Gaza side]: 09:15- Fly walks over. Stops.
[Gaza side]: 09:17- Fly sits on side of screen
[Gaza side]: 09:19- Fly walks to the other side

(..) goes on until 10:17 when things get heated up:

[Gaza side]: 10:17- Two flies have sex. Duration 1.12 sec
[Gaza side]: 10:25- Two flies have sex. Duration 1.54 sec
[Gaza side]: 11:05- Two flies have sex. Duration 10.04 sec

After the report was shared with the press in the late afternoon, Hamas called a press conference, claiming the two flies were Palestinian – as they were on the Gaza-pointed camera.

Israel officially objected by claiming the fly-act. The spokesperson for the Israeli Ministry of Information stated that.. “10.04 seconds of sex for a fly is equal to 10 hours of sex for humans. We have detailed ..euh.. information that no Palestinian fly can have sex for 10.04 seconds. The third fly-sex record was indeed done by Israeli flies.”

The Palestinian Red Crescent Society made things more complex by stating they evacuated two entangled flies around 11:10, confirming they were indeed Palestinian. Israel resolutely claimed by Israel the flies were under-cover Mossad agents, asked for their release, and called for an impromptu fly-embargo on Gaza.

Egypt extended its solidarity to the Palestinian cause by sending a container full of flies to Gaza, a shipment coordinated by the UN. Hamas consecutively confiscated the shipment and sold the flies to Israeli farmers, claiming they were bees.

Israel replicated by spraying the flies on the Gaza-pointed webcam with “BAM”, a US-supplied insecticide. This drastic move was condemned by WTF, the World Trustfund for Flies, as a war crime.

The Arab League started the “Free the FLIES” campaign which, apparently, already has 100,000 registered signatures, even before the website became online.

George Lucas will make a movie out of the incident, apparently to be called “Sex on the Fly”.

More satire on The Road.